Socially Acceptable Hate?

As I have said before, I am fat (heavy, overweight, a BBW whatever you want to call it).  Now, I don't want this blog to focus on fat, fat-acceptance, losing weight etc, but something I saw today irked me enough that I needed to come here and vent.

When did it become socially acceptable to make fun of fat people?  I was out and about doing my shopping and saw a car in front of me with a bumper sticker that said "No Fatties".  There are so many things wrong with this bumper sticker.  Let's start with the fact that this person felt it necessary to put into writing his hatred of a certain subset of people.  Now, I fully understand that not every person wants to date a woman or a man of size, but why on earth would you put it on a BUMPER STICKER?

As a fat woman, this sticker upset me.  I would hope that ANY woman that saw this sticker would steer clear of this "man".  What self-respecting woman would want to be with a man that for unknown reasons needs to profess the fact that he hates people?

I might not find men with beards attractive, but I am not going to make up a sign that says "No Beardies", I just wouldn't date them.  Is a "man" that needs a bumper sticker like this over compensating for something, feeling repressed desires for "fatties" or just a jerk?

Yes, I am fat, but I am a PERSON, I have feelings, dreams, desires.  I am not a lazy person, but I do have a medical condition that makes me gain weight quickly and have a hard time losing it.



I am fat, I have ALWAYS been fat and even if I lose weight, I will probably always be fat.  I am not here to please you, so if you don't like the way I look, then don't look at me.  I will not give you the power to depress me or make me want to stay shut in at home because I am worried about what people think.  I am lucky to have found DBH that loves me for ME and not the way I look.  So, I wonder when people will finally get the fact that it isn't ok to make fun of anyone for any reason?

This is the car decal I would hope my DBH would sport:

Go here to purchase this decal!

Down the Rabbit Hole

Every once in a while I manage to fall down the rabbit hole - internet wise.  I always like to look at the blogs that the people I am "following" follow (does that make sense?  lol)  And it led me to an interesting rabbit hole - one I have been in for the past few days.

It started out innocently enough, I found a plus-size fashion blog.  Well, as I have said before, I am fat so naturally I was interested in what it has to say.  Over the past three days I have ready every plus-sized fashion blog I can get my hands on.  Most of them wear stuff I would never be comfortable wearing, but I do admire them (and secretly wish I has the nerve to wear fun and fashionable stuff).

If you are not fat (plus-size, obese, chunky, chubby whatever you want to call it), you may not know how hard it is to find clothes in my size (or any size over a 12).  I am a size 30/32 right now so that makes it exponentially harder!  While I have found some great web sites that cater to the full figured, I can not afford to buy new clothes right now.  But I have been inspired to try to accessorize and glam up my current clothes.  I have never been a frilly girl - I like to sleep for an extra 10 minutes rather than put make up on.  But I am going to try to take a little time for me and make myself feel pretty and put together.

I have been scouring ebay for cheap accessories, but haven't had much luck.  It makes it harder because I need an 8 inch bracelet and can't wear necklaces that are less than 20 inches.  I am not going to give up, I will manage to find cute/fun/cheap accessories.  (If you have any go to places, please let me know!)

After that "fat fashion" blogs, I fell down another rabbit hole - although it is closely related to "fat fashion".  This hole was all about Fat Acceptance or FA.  Let me just tell you that I truly admire these ladies that have learned to love themselves - fat thighs and rolls and all.  I am going to work on my love for me as well as working on my weight.  There is no way I will ever be a size 2 (but then I am not sure I would WANT to be that skinny), but I can be smaller and healthier.  I would love to be a size 14/16 or 18/20.  I know that is still huge to some, but to me, it is a goal and is attainable.  I just want to be able to move and enjoy life and at this point I am not enjoying being like this.

I Got Absolutely Nothing....

So, I sat on my heiny and did nothing today (nada, zip, zilch, nothing!)  It was nice, but I think I am slowly going insane not working.  It isn't like having the Summer off is a new thing (as a teacher I always do) however this summer is different.  This summer I am off of work without the luxury of knowing I will soon head back to the grind stone.  As much as I complain about the long hours and craziness, I really do miss teaching.

I did get my first unemployment check in the mail today.  I find it strange that they would give me unemployment when I am still getting a paycheck, but if they want to, that is fine with me.  I won't refuse the money!  I do know that I absolutely can not touch this money.  I need to get it into savings as soon as possible so I have it when my paychecks stop!

Next week I have my phone interview for food stamps.  I was supposed to have it last week, however the notice didn't come in until the day after it was scheduled.  After days of playing phone tag with the DFCS lady, I finally left her a voice message asking her to reschedule the appointment and I would make sure I was available whenever it was.

So, talking about food stamps, lately I have been scouring the internet looking for cheap, easy, and filling recipes I can do to make the most out the food we will get.  I am not a chef, but I can cook simple things.  It just gets difficult in this house, we have no counter space!  If you have any tips or websites you love, please let me know!

I got to thinking earlier.  I am fat (I have mentioned this before here).  I am ok with that, I don't even mind the word.  Over the years I have taken ownership of a word that all too often was used by others in an attempt to hurt me.  I much rather use the word "fat" than "obese" - I hate that word!  Anyway, I was thinking about the silver linings of being fat.  I have never broken a bone (thanks to the soft padding I bounce! lol).  I have never been mugged or kidnapped.  Think about it, if you were a robber would you want to come up to a woman that outweighed you and could probably kick your butt?  I think not!  I have never been kidnapped.  Think about it, have you ever heard about a really fat person being kidnapped?  Nope!  Logically who would want to try to pick up and carry a fat person?  Another benefit would be that I can easily weed out the jerks in a room.  If a person doesn't want to look at me or talk to me, or makes rude comments about me, they aren't the kind of person I want around me.

 I once had a student say something rude about me being fat.  I stopped what I was doing, turned and looked them straight in the eye and said "I know I am fat, you know I am fat, the rest of the world knows I am fat.  We do not need to be told that fact.   It doesn't hurt my feelings when you call me names, but I will not stand to be disrespected in my own classroom."  You could have heard a pin drop in that classroom.  The students were looking back and forth between me and the student and they had their mouths agape.  I didn't miss a beat, I turned back around and kept teaching.  Not once did anyone in that classroom say anything disrespectful to me again.

On the Hunt

Well, as I said in my first post, I was non-renewed this year (just like thousands of other teachers).  About two weeks ago, I noticed that my former employer had openings for teachers for next year.  To say the least, I was upset.  I felt a little betrayed.  It just gets to me that I have put all of my effort in for the past three years, done everything they asked me to (got more certification, attended any training they wanted) and I was still let go.  Anyway, I applied to all three positions that I am certified for and I actually have an interview this coming Friday.


To get ready, I have been shopping looking for a outfit that will make me look less like a whale than I am.  I am serious, I am not one of those people that says they need to lose weight and you look at them and think they would disappear if they turned sideways.  No, I am a size 30.  Yep, I said it, it is out there in the world and there is no going back.  I am FAT.  But, I have been fat my whole life, so I am used to it.

Besides the interview, I have applied to over 20 openings.  I have yet to get a response from any.  Even if they don't want me, it would still be nice to just hear something like "Due to a lot of applicants....blah blah blah".  But I don't even get that.

Don't worry, this blog isn't going to be all about getting a job.  I won't subject you to that!