Thursday, December 30, 2010


Over the past few days I have been thinking about changes. Looking back five years, my life was so completely different. This leads me to think about what it may be like in five years time. I don't want to sit back and just let my life pass by. I have decided I am ready to make my life mine.

I think i have decided a few things that I need to do and change in my life. Unfortunately, they may not make some people very happy. I am at a point in my life that I need to live for me, not what others want me to do. It seems like no matter what I do, it isn't the right thing for someone. So, if I am going to be wrong, I might as well make myself happy!

I don't want to talk about all of what I have decided. But I will talk about what the first step is. I need to lose weight. Now, I am not talking about 15 pounds, I am talking about hundreds. BUT, I have lost near 100 pounds in the past, I can do this. I think I am finally ready to put my head and my heart into this 100%. Before I can make positive changes in my life and what it will be like in 5 years, I have to take this step.

I don't know how I let it get this bad, but it is to the point where I can't take a vacation because I can't fit in seats or walk more than a few yards. I know this won't be overnight, but I also know that with so much to lose I will lose quickly at first. Once I feel the benefits, I feel it will be easier for me to stick to it.

I am not thinking I will ever be a size 2, an 8 or even a 12. I may never get below a size 18, but that is ok too. I know I can be healthier and being a size 18 is a lot healthier than the 32 I am now.

So, step one is to lose the weight I have on me.

Saturday, August 7, 2010

I Forgot to Tell You!

I got a job!!!  I interviewed at a Middle School on July 27th and was hired on Monday August 2nd at 8:00 pm.  I was at work the next day at 8 am!  I don't have a contract yet - they are still doing the background checks etc, but they will retro-active pay me when it all comes through.  The student's first day is Monday.

Not only that, Monkey's first day at Pre-K is on Monday too!  He is super excited.  I just hope it goes well - he has never been away from the family at all (not even day care!).

I will write more later, I am still getting stuff together for Monday and I need to go school clothes shopping for myself! :)

Saturday, July 24, 2010

It Has Been A While....

Ok, I know I have been a bad blogger, it has been about three weeks since I have written.  There has been a lot going on around here and I just haven't felt it.  I am trying to pull myself up by the bootstraps, so I am back.  I will try to give a concise update on what has been going on in the Land of Me.

On the job front, I still don't have one.  Yep, it is about 2 weeks until the start of school, and I won't be there.  My teacher friends are all talking about how they are preparing their classrooms, planning their curriculum etc and I sit here searching job sites and playing FrontierVille on Facebook.  At this point, it is really starting to get to me.  I had another interview in a county about a hour drive away.  The principal told me I had excellent references and asked for more.  So I got my hopes up, that was my downfall.  He left me a voicemail a week later telling me that he was impressed with my references, with me, what I have done, and the interview, but he has chosen another candidate.  Ok, fine, I can live with that, except the next day I saw him repost the position on the website.  Yep, I was so freaking impressive and a great candidate, but I wasn't enough for him I suppose.  Kick. In. The. Teeth.

The good thing is that I have heard Congress has extended unemployment payments after the 6 months I would normally get, so even though we won't be comfortable, at least I can keep a roof over our heads.

I am trying to not let it get to me, so I am keeping myself busy.  Monkey turns four next week, and I am planning his party.  He also starts school in about two weeks so we have been school clothes/supplies shopping (thank goodness for his Grandma, Nanny, and Grandpa helping with paying for it).  I am trying to just enjoy being with Monkey right now, he is growing up so fast and I don't want to miss it!

In my mind, I have been trying to boost my self-esteem.  I have come to the conclusion that I will not allow politics and the local screwed up school systems/government to bring me down.  I am not a bad teacher, I was unfortunately the teacher that was let go due to budget cuts - not a teacher let go due to bad teaching!

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Sitting Here in the Semi-Dark

This is the second time I have typed this, for some reason blogger didn't post it and that just peeves me off more!

I suppose I should start off with some background knowledge you will have to have to understand my predicament.  Two years ago, my family and I bought a 12 acre piece of property with two mobile homes on it.  We are paying off the property and will eventually get different houses put on it.  But, right now Monkey, DBH, myself and one of my sisters are living in the older mobile home.

Anyway, it is 100 degrees F here today and a couple of days ago we had to break down and use some money (that I really needed to keep for use while being unemployed) to buy another window air conditioning unit.  We already had one, but it was still almost 90 degrees in here and Monkey was always red and sweating, so we got a 12,000 BTU unit.  The good thing is that it does a stellar job!  I am so in love!  lol

The A/C does have a downside though, due to our old mobile home, during the hottest part of the day, the breaker flips.  This causes our living room and my sister's bedroom to lose power until it is flipped back on.  Every time it flips off, my sister moans/growls and gets super pissed off.  So, in an effort to keep it from flipping, I have turned off everything I can.

This means that Monkey and I get to sit in the living room with a blissful A/C humming away keeping us cool, but without ONE light on, no TV, no computer (my laptop thankfully can run without being plugged in).  The sad part is that my sister told me a few weeks ago that her A/C works so well that sometimes she is super cold and instead of getting up to turn the A/C down, she decides to just turn on the heating blanket.  Yeah, seriously, she is that selfish and that idiotic.  So, we sit out here in the dark while she is in her room with the TV blaring, using the TIVO thing, her ceiling fan/light on, typing away on her computer that IS plugged in, charging her cell phone, and probably snuggled under the heating blanket.  Can you tell I am bitter?  Yeah, I am!

I am tired of having to be a parent to her.  She needs to get her head out of her butt, put her big girl panties and and stop getting mad at me and cussing at me like a sailor when I say/do something she doesn't like.  I made a comment earlier that the breaker doesn't flip when she is at work and she started going off on me saying things like "Well, what do you want me to do, it is your A/C's fault!" and "What do you want me to do, turn my TV off?"  No, woman, I want you to get a freaking clue and realize I have a three year old and the world doesn't revolve around you.

Ok, I am stepping down off my soapbox now!  lol

Monday, July 5, 2010

Feeling Groovy...

We had a great Forth of July here!  We all went up to my Mom's house (which is on the same property as ours just about 500 yards behind us and over a creek!).  My step-father cooked hamburgers and hot dogs, Monkey made macaroni salad and potato salad (well, he helped his Aunt), and we had strawberry shortcake for desert!  After dinner my sister set off small fireworks and we sat around outside watching.  I love Independence Day because it is one of the few holidays when you aren't expected to do too much or buy anything for anyone!  lol

Yesterday my sister asked me if I would go down to Florida with her (I was born there and lived there until three years ago) to clean out a storage unit and move it to a smaller one as her bill is going up again.  I told her I would go, but I don't think my car will make it and I am not paying for a rental.  She will have to look into it and let me know.  The big news is, if it happens, I will not be able to take Monkey with me.  This would be the first time I have not been home with him overnight.  :(

The other night I was cuddling in bed with Monkey (I know he is almost four and it will be soon when I can't do that any longer - so I am enjoying it while I can).  He looks up at me and puts his little hand on my face and tells me that he loves me and asks if I will keep him safe.  My heart melted on the spot!  How freaking adorable is that?

On other fronts, I will update you on my job search.  Normally I spend my days stalking jobs on and then applying to anything and everything I am certified to teach (yea, I know, I am way selective! lol).  Anyway after applying, I find the principal's email address and send them a quick email letting them know I applied and talking about myself a little.  Well, today it paid off.  I got an email from one of the principals directing me to the district's website and asked me to apply online for the job.  He then asked me to contact him when I finished applying so he could contact me to schedule an interview.  Well, you can bet that I jumped all over that and within ten minutes of the email coming, the application was done and I had fired off an email to him letting him know.  I hope to hear back soon.

This school is about an hour and a half away and if I get it, I may have to move closer.  My Mom will be super pissed, but I have to do what I have to do to support my family and well paying jobs aren't exactly growing on trees!  But, I am not going to worry about that just yet.  I am not counting my chickens before they hatch, I am just super excited to even have an egg!  lol

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Had a Great Day!

So, today was spent running around town completing errands with my Monkey and my older sister.  It was a pretty good day.  We even got to stop and watch a big digger demolishing some old houses, so Monkey was pretty stoked.  He has now decided that he wants to be a construction worker that "drives" cruise ships!  How cute is that?

After we got back out the the boondocks (A.K.A our house), my sister took Monkey up to their house for a few hours.  This gave DBH and I some much needed alone time, and couple time!  I love that like Monkey, but it is nice to have a break as well.

All in all, I am in a pretty good mood!  I told my husband he better write the date down, as it isn't likely to happen again in a long while!  lol

As far as a job goes, I am up over 30 applications and no bites.  I have decided to start looking into other careers.  If anyone knows of a company (or a type of job) I could do with a B.S. degree could you kindly let me know!  I love teaching, but I can't just sit around here waiting for a call that might take a year to come!

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Update on My Sorry Attitude!

Ok, I just want to apologize for the crappy attitude I have had lately.  I have been drowning in a pit of self-pity and I am trying to crawl my way back out of it!  I have decided to stop whining, get over myself, and get on with finding a job.

From now on, I have decided to apply for ANYTHING that I am certified to teach ANYWHERE in Georgia.  I would really hate to move away from my family (and take Monkey away from the rest of the family), but I have to do what I have to do to support my family and not go slowly insane!  I am still hopeful I will find something within an hour's drive from home so I don't have to move.  If I do have to move, I will put my big girl panties on and just get on with it.  People move away from loved ones all the time.

I am currently at 32 applications in and more likely to add on in the next few days.  I have even applied at a correctional institution to be an Educational Manager (basically I would schedule the teachers and do paperwork).  I know I could sit back and draw unemployment for six months, but I am not that type of person.  I need to be out there doing something, working!  Now, I will not work at Wal-Mart or the like (simply because I would make more on unemployment sitting on my lazy butt than I would standing on my feet all day - isn't that sad?).

Tomorrow is a big day!  I have to do some grocery shopping, stop at the dollar store, and swing by the unemployment office again (for some job training or something).

Thursday, June 24, 2010


Well, got my rejection in the mail today. "Due to the fact that we had a number of outstanding candidates for this position, including you, the selection process was not an easy one. After careful deliberation, the decision has been made to select another candidate."

I am obviously a loser and can't get a job with the school system that trained me.  Nice.  I am screwed.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010


Please forgive me for this post.  Right now I am not feeling very positive or happy.  So, if you want to move on and not read my self-indulgence, I wouldn't hold it against you.  :)

Well, it just hit me.  I am no longer a teacher.  At this point in the summer I would be knee deep in planning and getting ready for the next school year.  I would have all my teacher guides, my standards, worksheets, projects, posters spread around the living room, trying to make my curriculum.

At this point, I have nothing to plan, nothing to get ready for.  All of my teacher friends are busy planning their curriculum and lesson plans, and I sit here looking for a job and playing on Facebook.

I suppose right now I am just feeling really sorry for myself.  I would think it is understandable to wallow in some self-indulgent pity for a little while, but I hate it.

I am missing my old school.  I grew quite attached to those teachers.  I feel like I left part of my family there.  We have been through so much together and I will most likely never see most of them again.  Of course we all promise to get together for lunch, or catch up over shopping.  Those plans never really seem to pan out, slowly we just go our separate ways.

When it comes down to it, I think I am just really sad about not knowing what my future holds for me.  I want to be a teacher.  I just hope someone allows me the chance to be one again...

Saturday, June 19, 2010

I Got Absolutely Nothing....

So, I sat on my heiny and did nothing today (nada, zip, zilch, nothing!)  It was nice, but I think I am slowly going insane not working.  It isn't like having the Summer off is a new thing (as a teacher I always do) however this summer is different.  This summer I am off of work without the luxury of knowing I will soon head back to the grind stone.  As much as I complain about the long hours and craziness, I really do miss teaching.

I did get my first unemployment check in the mail today.  I find it strange that they would give me unemployment when I am still getting a paycheck, but if they want to, that is fine with me.  I won't refuse the money!  I do know that I absolutely can not touch this money.  I need to get it into savings as soon as possible so I have it when my paychecks stop!

Next week I have my phone interview for food stamps.  I was supposed to have it last week, however the notice didn't come in until the day after it was scheduled.  After days of playing phone tag with the DFCS lady, I finally left her a voice message asking her to reschedule the appointment and I would make sure I was available whenever it was.

So, talking about food stamps, lately I have been scouring the internet looking for cheap, easy, and filling recipes I can do to make the most out the food we will get.  I am not a chef, but I can cook simple things.  It just gets difficult in this house, we have no counter space!  If you have any tips or websites you love, please let me know!

I got to thinking earlier.  I am fat (I have mentioned this before here).  I am ok with that, I don't even mind the word.  Over the years I have taken ownership of a word that all too often was used by others in an attempt to hurt me.  I much rather use the word "fat" than "obese" - I hate that word!  Anyway, I was thinking about the silver linings of being fat.  I have never broken a bone (thanks to the soft padding I bounce! lol).  I have never been mugged or kidnapped.  Think about it, if you were a robber would you want to come up to a woman that outweighed you and could probably kick your butt?  I think not!  I have never been kidnapped.  Think about it, have you ever heard about a really fat person being kidnapped?  Nope!  Logically who would want to try to pick up and carry a fat person?  Another benefit would be that I can easily weed out the jerks in a room.  If a person doesn't want to look at me or talk to me, or makes rude comments about me, they aren't the kind of person I want around me.

 I once had a student say something rude about me being fat.  I stopped what I was doing, turned and looked them straight in the eye and said "I know I am fat, you know I am fat, the rest of the world knows I am fat.  We do not need to be told that fact.   It doesn't hurt my feelings when you call me names, but I will not stand to be disrespected in my own classroom."  You could have heard a pin drop in that classroom.  The students were looking back and forth between me and the student and they had their mouths agape.  I didn't miss a beat, I turned back around and kept teaching.  Not once did anyone in that classroom say anything disrespectful to me again.

Friday, June 18, 2010

Interview Day!

Well, today was the day.  After a fitful night of tossing and turning instead of sleeping, I woke up around 7:30 and started getting ready for my 10:00 interview.  I was aiming to leave the house at no later than 9:00.  I have this thing that I can't stand being late (or really even on time) to things and I always have to get there super early (I mean you never know what might happen - trees in the road, squirrels, UFO's lol).

After my shower, ironing my clothes, putting on my makeup and getting dressed, I managed to leave the house just 15 minutes behind.  Thankfully it only took 30 minutes to get to the school, so I was still 15 minutes early.

The principal was the only one there, so he called me back early and my interview started at about 9:45.  By 10:20 it was all over.  I had answered every question he had to the best of my ability.  I managed to harp on how my kid's test scores have improved over the years, my classroom management style, my knowledge (and use of) technology, and the grant I had written to get myself three Flip video cameras for my classroom.  We talked about inclusion strategies and what I do to motivate the kids to learn.  He told me the position is for 8th grade Math and then talked about the school, why the teacher was leaving, and what he expects from the teachers.  At the end of the interview he said I had given a good interview and I would know in about a week.

At this point, I have done my bit and now I just wait to see if I am the lucky one.  I do know that I am one of ten to be interviewed for this position.  So I guess I have a 1 in 10 chance!  lol

I was back from my interview and picking up prescriptions by 11:30.  The rest of the day was spent lazily look around on-line and watching Ninja Warrior!

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Today's Adventures...

Today was spent running around and having some fun!  We ended up going to a local park as well as McDonald's (I know - McDonald's?  I will explain a little later).

First up was the local park called Rolater Park (go here to see the website).  It is about 10 miles from us located in Cave Spring, Georgia.  Monkey spent the morning knee deep in water in the creek they have.  Supposedly it is the cleanest, purest water around (in fact we get our water from it).  The water stays about 52 degrees C year round.  We spent about three hours this morning with my Mother, my sister, and my niece.  It was a nice morning out.

Next we headed home to drop off my family and pick up DBH.  We got home at about 1:30 and come to find out DBH is still sleeping!  I wake him up and we head to town to McDonald's to make a video Skype call with my MIL and FIL.  The reason we couldn't do it from home is that we have HughesNet (Satellite Internet - as we live out in the country) and we have a bandwidth cap.  Yeah, fun, I know.

We had a nice conversation with the in-laws.  We talked about our four year plan - we hope to move over to England in the next four years.  The in-laws suggested that we save up and buy their house from them.  They just paid off their duplex (A.K.A. Semi-Attached).  They are really going to give it to DBH, but half will be owned by his brother so we could buy his brother's interest in the house out.  Their house is in Worcester, I like it there.

Tomorrow is my interview.  I will let you know how it goes!

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

I Am Being Followed....

Seriously!  I am being followed!  I already have my first follower and I am beyond excited!!  Thank you Mummy's Little Monkey for following a blog as unworthy as mine.  Also, thanks for the comment about my profile pic.  I was actually on Facebook about a month ago and it was used for one of the ads on my screen.  However, it looks suspiciously like my DBH.  Monkey still comes up asking to see the picture of "Daddy" and we sit and laugh about it.  Yes, I am somewhat evil, but I have to get my entertainment somehow.

On a job note, I have applied for two more positions that opened up locally.  I have put in over 20 applications and gotten one interview (which is FRIDAY!!).  I am a good teacher, my kids always get great marks on their state tests.  I show up for work with a smile on and do my best.  I just hope someone sees that and hires me.

As far as adventures go, I had none today.  I stayed close to home and did laundry.  :(

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

That squirrel never saw it coming....

Not such a great day today.

My unemployment still hasn't come through, so I went down to the unemployment office today.  Had a nice 2 hour wait to talk to someone for five minutes!  Thankfully the lady helping me was so super sweet and helpful.

I then head over the Sears to look at some clothes my sister found for Monkey (he starts school this year and she found some great stuff on clearance - she works there).  I decided to wait for her as she was supposed to get off "any minute".  Well two hours later she is finally ready.  Although I did have a great time laughing with her and her boss, so it is all good.

The highlight was going to the Chinese buffet (score!  I love Chinese).

However, on the way home, I ran over a squirrel and killed it! :(  Not to mention the little fluffy bunny I ran over three weeks ago.  My killing spree has got to stop!  lol  Seriously though, it is sad and I can't get that sound out of my head (thump).  Grrrr

Addicted to Facebook

Ok, at this point, I have no idea what I did with my free time before Facebook came into my life.  For reasons unknown to me (and try as I might to fight it) I am addicted to these stupid social networking games on Facebook.  The most recent, FrontierVille, just came out and is sucking up my time.  Not that I am so important to worry about wasting time, but still, it is hard to resist!

At least I have never bought coins, cash, points (whatever the games are calling it).  If I had, I might just have to throw this computer out into the creek!

Monday, June 14, 2010

On the Hunt

Well, as I said in my first post, I was non-renewed this year (just like thousands of other teachers).  About two weeks ago, I noticed that my former employer had openings for teachers for next year.  To say the least, I was upset.  I felt a little betrayed.  It just gets to me that I have put all of my effort in for the past three years, done everything they asked me to (got more certification, attended any training they wanted) and I was still let go.  Anyway, I applied to all three positions that I am certified for and I actually have an interview this coming Friday.

To get ready, I have been shopping looking for a outfit that will make me look less like a whale than I am.  I am serious, I am not one of those people that says they need to lose weight and you look at them and think they would disappear if they turned sideways.  No, I am a size 30.  Yep, I said it, it is out there in the world and there is no going back.  I am FAT.  But, I have been fat my whole life, so I am used to it.

Besides the interview, I have applied to over 20 openings.  I have yet to get a response from any.  Even if they don't want me, it would still be nice to just hear something like "Due to a lot of applicants....blah blah blah".  But I don't even get that.

Don't worry, this blog isn't going to be all about getting a job.  I won't subject you to that!

Sunday, June 13, 2010

Here we go...

Well, I guess it is uphill from here.  This is the beginning of my blog, I hope to stay informative as well as entertaining.  I most likely will ramble on from subject to subject, please forgive me if I do!

Ok, I guess I should include some information about who I am.  I am a 30 year old overweight woman, married to a Brit for 10 years (this September will be 10 years).  I have a three year old son (4 next month - where did the time go?) who is the light of my life.  Until last month, I was a teacher (I was non-renewed due to budget cuts after three years.  What else???  I was born in Orlando, FL but moved up to Northwest Georgia three years ago.

I suppose I should give the main characters in my life a "stage name" so I can respect their privacy.  My husband will be called Dear British Husband (DBH) and my son will be called Monkey.