Pay It Forward

I got this idea from Hester.

Even though I only have 4 followers at this point, I promise something handmade to the FIRST 5 people who leave a comment here. So, if you are just joining the party and see an open space (even if it is June! lol) you can comment and get in on the fun!

The rules are that it must be handmade (or homemade) by you and it must be sent to your 5 people some time in 2011. To be eligible, you must re-post this status, offering something handmade to 5 other people.  Ready, set, GO!

Feeling Good and Somewhat Peeved?

Since today was grocery shopping day, my two sisters, my son, my niece and I all piled into my tiny car to set out.  I was feeling pretty good as I had taken the time to put some makeup on and that always makes me feel a little more confident.  First stop of the day was Dollar Tree.  I wanted to check out the hair accessories and see if they had any cute jewelry or anything.  I struck out on the jewelry, but did find a few hair accessories.  I scored two Goody's hair bands that retail for about $4 at Wal-Mart.  I am tired of doing nothing with my hair, so I am going to work hard to incorporate different hair styles.

We stopped at Steak N Shake which is my favorite place to eat (and cheap - my meal and John's meal came to a total of $7.77).  Although it wasn't the healthiest thing I could eat, I did better.  I ate half of my meal and was satisfied.  I am under no illusion that I am going to be stick thin (and don't know if I want to be), but I can make better choices - which I am doing!

I thought I could find some cheap fashion jewelry at Wal-Mart, and I did find a few things I liked, but they were all $10 and I decided I would wait for clearance or look around online.

While looking on ebay for some steals/deals, I ran across the following auction:

Ebay Highway Robbery

Do you see it??  I almost choked on my Coke Zero.  Seriously?  SERIOUSLY?  $60 freaking dollars to "economy ship" from within the US??  You. Can. Keep. Them!  I understand what they are doing - seriously I am a seller too.  They are trying to get around paying the listing fees and auction ending fees.  When I see someone want $4.95 to ship a pair of earrings, I am fine with that, but $60??  So these sellers think that a pair of sterling silver earnings with a few garnets (NOT DIAMONDS or anything) are worth over $60?  I seriously think that Ebay needs to put a stop to this.  I am fine with paying a little to cover the packaging and the seller's time, but there is no way on earth that is appropriate!  I wonder how many people get suckered into a "cheap" auction and then realize the shipping is out of the world high!?!?

Down the Rabbit Hole

Every once in a while I manage to fall down the rabbit hole - internet wise.  I always like to look at the blogs that the people I am "following" follow (does that make sense?  lol)  And it led me to an interesting rabbit hole - one I have been in for the past few days.

It started out innocently enough, I found a plus-size fashion blog.  Well, as I have said before, I am fat so naturally I was interested in what it has to say.  Over the past three days I have ready every plus-sized fashion blog I can get my hands on.  Most of them wear stuff I would never be comfortable wearing, but I do admire them (and secretly wish I has the nerve to wear fun and fashionable stuff).

If you are not fat (plus-size, obese, chunky, chubby whatever you want to call it), you may not know how hard it is to find clothes in my size (or any size over a 12).  I am a size 30/32 right now so that makes it exponentially harder!  While I have found some great web sites that cater to the full figured, I can not afford to buy new clothes right now.  But I have been inspired to try to accessorize and glam up my current clothes.  I have never been a frilly girl - I like to sleep for an extra 10 minutes rather than put make up on.  But I am going to try to take a little time for me and make myself feel pretty and put together.

I have been scouring ebay for cheap accessories, but haven't had much luck.  It makes it harder because I need an 8 inch bracelet and can't wear necklaces that are less than 20 inches.  I am not going to give up, I will manage to find cute/fun/cheap accessories.  (If you have any go to places, please let me know!)

After that "fat fashion" blogs, I fell down another rabbit hole - although it is closely related to "fat fashion".  This hole was all about Fat Acceptance or FA.  Let me just tell you that I truly admire these ladies that have learned to love themselves - fat thighs and rolls and all.  I am going to work on my love for me as well as working on my weight.  There is no way I will ever be a size 2 (but then I am not sure I would WANT to be that skinny), but I can be smaller and healthier.  I would love to be a size 14/16 or 18/20.  I know that is still huge to some, but to me, it is a goal and is attainable.  I just want to be able to move and enjoy life and at this point I am not enjoying being like this.

The Road Not Taken

I have been in a great mood today!  I really need to work on being more upbeat on a daily basis.  Today, even mouthy sixth graders managed to make me laugh.  That has got to say something! lol

On my hour commute home, I got to thinking about a poem I learned in 9th grade English class.  I was offered the elusive "extra credit" if I memorized it.  I worked for hours that week, reading the poem over and over.  Finally, I managed to memorize it (well enough to satisfy my teacher that is).  The poem I am referring to is The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost.  Even though parts of it are hazy, I still remember the sentiment and most of the words.  


The poem got me pondering my current situation (work, life, etc) and I came to a startling conclusion.  Even though I didn't choose the road I am on, I am happy where it is taking me! I can see that things will change and I needed to change some major things to get the ball rolling.  So, the end of last school year, I was forced kicking and screaming down the road less traveled, but I believe it was truly the road I was meant to be on.  While the track I am on might not be my final destination, it is a means to an end and I am truly thankful for it!

The Road Not Taken
by Robert Frost

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveller, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference

Bring It

So, it begins.  A brand new shiny year full of hope, dreams, and expectations.  This year, I will not sit back and wait for good things.  This year will be different.  This year I will finally be an active participant in my life.  If I want change, well then I gotta change!  Seems simple?  We shall see.

Five years doesn't seem so long, but thinking back five years I was a different person in a very different place.  I didn't have my son, wasn't a teacher, was living in Orlando in a condo, both my Grandmother and Father were alive.  So many good things and negative things have happened in such a short time.  It brings me hope to think about where I (and my family) could be in 5 years.  That is what will keep me changing.

Changes

Over the past few days I have been thinking about changes. Looking back five years, my life was so completely different. This leads me to think about what it may be like in five years time. I don't want to sit back and just let my life pass by. I have decided I am ready to make my life mine.

I think i have decided a few things that I need to do and change in my life. Unfortunately, they may not make some people very happy. I am at a point in my life that I need to live for me, not what others want me to do. It seems like no matter what I do, it isn't the right thing for someone. So, if I am going to be wrong, I might as well make myself happy!

I don't want to talk about all of what I have decided. But I will talk about what the first step is. I need to lose weight. Now, I am not talking about 15 pounds, I am talking about hundreds. BUT, I have lost near 100 pounds in the past, I can do this. I think I am finally ready to put my head and my heart into this 100%. Before I can make positive changes in my life and what it will be like in 5 years, I have to take this step.

I don't know how I let it get this bad, but it is to the point where I can't take a vacation because I can't fit in seats or walk more than a few yards. I know this won't be overnight, but I also know that with so much to lose I will lose quickly at first. Once I feel the benefits, I feel it will be easier for me to stick to it.

I am not thinking I will ever be a size 2, an 8 or even a 12. I may never get below a size 18, but that is ok too. I know I can be healthier and being a size 18 is a lot healthier than the 32 I am now.

So, step one is to lose the weight I have on me.

I Forgot to Tell You!

I got a job!!!  I interviewed at a Middle School on July 27th and was hired on Monday August 2nd at 8:00 pm.  I was at work the next day at 8 am!  I don't have a contract yet - they are still doing the background checks etc, but they will retro-active pay me when it all comes through.  The student's first day is Monday.

Not only that, Monkey's first day at Pre-K is on Monday too!  He is super excited.  I just hope it goes well - he has never been away from the family at all (not even day care!).

I will write more later, I am still getting stuff together for Monday and I need to go school clothes shopping for myself! :)

It Has Been A While....

Ok, I know I have been a bad blogger, it has been about three weeks since I have written.  There has been a lot going on around here and I just haven't felt it.  I am trying to pull myself up by the bootstraps, so I am back.  I will try to give a concise update on what has been going on in the Land of Me.

On the job front, I still don't have one.  Yep, it is about 2 weeks until the start of school, and I won't be there.  My teacher friends are all talking about how they are preparing their classrooms, planning their curriculum etc and I sit here searching job sites and playing FrontierVille on Facebook.  At this point, it is really starting to get to me.  I had another interview in a county about a hour drive away.  The principal told me I had excellent references and asked for more.  So I got my hopes up, that was my downfall.  He left me a voicemail a week later telling me that he was impressed with my references, with me, what I have done, and the interview, but he has chosen another candidate.  Ok, fine, I can live with that, except the next day I saw him repost the position on the website.  Yep, I was so freaking impressive and a great candidate, but I wasn't enough for him I suppose.  Kick. In. The. Teeth.

The good thing is that I have heard Congress has extended unemployment payments after the 6 months I would normally get, so even though we won't be comfortable, at least I can keep a roof over our heads.

I am trying to not let it get to me, so I am keeping myself busy.  Monkey turns four next week, and I am planning his party.  He also starts school in about two weeks so we have been school clothes/supplies shopping (thank goodness for his Grandma, Nanny, and Grandpa helping with paying for it).  I am trying to just enjoy being with Monkey right now, he is growing up so fast and I don't want to miss it!

In my mind, I have been trying to boost my self-esteem.  I have come to the conclusion that I will not allow politics and the local screwed up school systems/government to bring me down.  I am not a bad teacher, I was unfortunately the teacher that was let go due to budget cuts - not a teacher let go due to bad teaching!

Sitting Here in the Semi-Dark

This is the second time I have typed this, for some reason blogger didn't post it and that just peeves me off more!

I suppose I should start off with some background knowledge you will have to have to understand my predicament.  Two years ago, my family and I bought a 12 acre piece of property with two mobile homes on it.  We are paying off the property and will eventually get different houses put on it.  But, right now Monkey, DBH, myself and one of my sisters are living in the older mobile home.

Anyway, it is 100 degrees F here today and a couple of days ago we had to break down and use some money (that I really needed to keep for use while being unemployed) to buy another window air conditioning unit.  We already had one, but it was still almost 90 degrees in here and Monkey was always red and sweating, so we got a 12,000 BTU unit.  The good thing is that it does a stellar job!  I am so in love!  lol

The A/C does have a downside though, due to our old mobile home, during the hottest part of the day, the breaker flips.  This causes our living room and my sister's bedroom to lose power until it is flipped back on.  Every time it flips off, my sister moans/growls and gets super pissed off.  So, in an effort to keep it from flipping, I have turned off everything I can.

This means that Monkey and I get to sit in the living room with a blissful A/C humming away keeping us cool, but without ONE light on, no TV, no computer (my laptop thankfully can run without being plugged in).  The sad part is that my sister told me a few weeks ago that her A/C works so well that sometimes she is super cold and instead of getting up to turn the A/C down, she decides to just turn on the heating blanket.  Yeah, seriously, she is that selfish and that idiotic.  So, we sit out here in the dark while she is in her room with the TV blaring, using the TIVO thing, her ceiling fan/light on, typing away on her computer that IS plugged in, charging her cell phone, and probably snuggled under the heating blanket.  Can you tell I am bitter?  Yeah, I am!

I am tired of having to be a parent to her.  She needs to get her head out of her butt, put her big girl panties and and stop getting mad at me and cussing at me like a sailor when I say/do something she doesn't like.  I made a comment earlier that the breaker doesn't flip when she is at work and she started going off on me saying things like "Well, what do you want me to do, it is your A/C's fault!" and "What do you want me to do, turn my TV off?"  No, woman, I want you to get a freaking clue and realize I have a three year old and the world doesn't revolve around you.

Ok, I am stepping down off my soapbox now!  lol

Feeling Groovy...

We had a great Forth of July here!  We all went up to my Mom's house (which is on the same property as ours just about 500 yards behind us and over a creek!).  My step-father cooked hamburgers and hot dogs, Monkey made macaroni salad and potato salad (well, he helped his Aunt), and we had strawberry shortcake for desert!  After dinner my sister set off small fireworks and we sat around outside watching.  I love Independence Day because it is one of the few holidays when you aren't expected to do too much or buy anything for anyone!  lol


Yesterday my sister asked me if I would go down to Florida with her (I was born there and lived there until three years ago) to clean out a storage unit and move it to a smaller one as her bill is going up again.  I told her I would go, but I don't think my car will make it and I am not paying for a rental.  She will have to look into it and let me know.  The big news is, if it happens, I will not be able to take Monkey with me.  This would be the first time I have not been home with him overnight.  :(
 

The other night I was cuddling in bed with Monkey (I know he is almost four and it will be soon when I can't do that any longer - so I am enjoying it while I can).  He looks up at me and puts his little hand on my face and tells me that he loves me and asks if I will keep him safe.  My heart melted on the spot!  How freaking adorable is that?

On other fronts, I will update you on my job search.  Normally I spend my days stalking jobs on teachgeorgia.org and then applying to anything and everything I am certified to teach (yea, I know, I am way selective! lol).  Anyway after applying, I find the principal's email address and send them a quick email letting them know I applied and talking about myself a little.  Well, today it paid off.  I got an email from one of the principals directing me to the district's website and asked me to apply online for the job.  He then asked me to contact him when I finished applying so he could contact me to schedule an interview.  Well, you can bet that I jumped all over that and within ten minutes of the email coming, the application was done and I had fired off an email to him letting him know.  I hope to hear back soon.


This school is about an hour and a half away and if I get it, I may have to move closer.  My Mom will be super pissed, but I have to do what I have to do to support my family and well paying jobs aren't exactly growing on trees!  But, I am not going to worry about that just yet.  I am not counting my chickens before they hatch, I am just super excited to even have an egg!  lol